Rosemary for Remembrance, Dragonflies, Hawks and Sunflowers.

Whatta day! This morning I woke up, got Amani ready to go to gymnastics with Luca and Sasha, double checked on the time for Morgan's memorial, and remembered it was Tino and my anniversary.

While Tino is always the one to ensure that my shoes are polished and clothes are pressed before we head out the door, he has been so busy studying, I had to beg him first to go to the memorial with me, then inform him that his work uniform was not appropriate. We are paying respects, look respectable, quite simply.

Morgan. How many tears I cried, and how close to you and all who love you I feel! Thank you thank you for giving me that closeness and that love. I've been overwhelmed, under the weather, feeling like I was losing touch, not reaching out to the things and the ones who made me... It felt very good to go to the memorial. It felt very good to see how many people feel exactly the same way. It felt very good, reiterating with them how Morgan could not possibly be forgotten, some of the very brightest that shines through me comes directly from her. What an angel, what a woman to know. How blessed I feel to have been seen and touched by her. With my stuffy nose, I went through a box of tissues on my own, crying until I was puffy faced. Then was able to see Jimmy, Mike and Kelly, and also Guy, and exchange good hugs, good love, good penetrating looks, and good words. It made me feel more connected. Then the hawk spirit sent all of the people I had been thinking of to our doorstep today, just about, and it was a fantastic day of impromptu visits and simple goodness.

Amani, Luca and I went to Oliver's to pick Tino up, and the cruised around Oliver's excitedly putting things in their cart. But under control, happily, choosing fruits, sweet potatoes, juice, milk, syrup for tomorrow's pancakes. It was fun. Then we all held hands and walked in the big drizzle drops through the wet, lamplit parking lot to the Chinese restaurant, and ate and ate and ate.

The entire time, I kept thinking back to Morgan, in that each shot of her, there is a special glow. That special glow that makes each moment flawless. That turns off the fluorescent lights of the restaurant, takes the stains off the floor, makes the lanterns glow red, with fireflies dancing and perfectly warm, delicious food. Obviously it wasn't like that, but I felt like it was. Playing house with Tino, while Luca and Amani practiced playing. We had a great time. I feel so completely blessed.

There are so many things we forget, and time does fly. I might enjoy my work, but don't want to forget why I am doing it, my other obligations, other talents, and other needs.

Overall, I feel in perfect gratitude.


And there is every reason in the world, to keep journaling, about the development of this baby, and of life. It makes it last longer.